August Book Club-You Can’t Say You Can’t Play

Oct 12

I can’t believe how quickly August flew by! And September for that matter!

I wrote this post at the end of August but due to other projects, it has taken me well over a month to post this! September was dedicated to adjusting to our new school normal. We are now in a good routine!

Typically, the end of August is filled with the hustle and bustle of the new school year starting. High School sports begin, teachers prepare their classrooms and students get their lunch boxes and backpacks ready for their first day. This start of the school year felt very different as our community prepared for virtual learning.

For our August Book Club book I selected Vivian Paley’s You Can’t Say You Can’t Play. This book always reminds me of the start of school. I think that is because so much of early learning is focused on social emotional development. Paley is a Kindergarten teacher, after watching the interaction amongst the children in her class she decides to talk to the children about implementing a new class rule “You can’t say you can’t play”. The book chronicles her discussions with her class about “the new rule” as well as discussions with the 1st through 5th grade classes about how they feel “the new rule” will work with her Kindergarten class.

Paralleling her discussions with her class and the other classes, Paley tells an imaginary story of a Magpie, which she shares with her class. The children make connections between what is happening in their class and what is occurring in the Magpie story.

Paley starts her book talking about how children know when they have been rejected even if they don’t tell us. The same children are often rejected time and time again. “Surely the children are too innocent to understand the consequences of telling other they cannot play with them. Yet, they reach out easily to those who are hurt or sad often more tenderly than I.” Her idea was that play becomes life. If we write inclusion into play it will translate into how children act as adults in their daily life.

The book analyzes the deep thoughts that children associate with play. It looks at how play is their world and the in many ways their sense of “power.” “First of all, play, in and of itself, gives pleasure. It is certainly attached to friendship, but the equation is a tricky one. Play flows out of friendship and friendship flows out of play. The relationship works both ways and equally well, but the children are not convinced that this is so, a suspicion that grows stronger as they grow older.” As children grow older, we see how exclusion extends beyond just not allowing someone in the sandbox. Paley shares “In general, the approach has been to help the outsiders develop the characteristics that will make them more acceptable to the insiders. I am suggesting something different: the group [ must change its attitudes and expectations toward those who, for whatever reason, are not yet part of the system.” It is so important to teach our children inclusion. For many of our children that are not in attending in person school this fall, social teachings may fall to the parents.

A few great ways to teach your children social skills:

-Act out various social situations

-Read books about common childhood conflicts and talk about the story

-Model how you handle minor social conflict in your life

Resources:

Books:

A Best Friend for Frances By: Russell Hoban

Toot and Puddle and the New Friend By: Hollie Hobby

Can I play too? By: Samantha Cotterill

Enemy Pie By: Derek Munson

The Recess Queen By: Alexis O’Neill

What Should Danny Do? School Day By: Adir and Ganit Levy