Building Resilence
Reading aloud to my children is one of my favorite activities. It is a lovely way to connect with them, talk through different topics and gain an important perspective on their understanding of the world. The other day my daughter and I read Rosie Revere, Engineer by Andrea Beaty. It is a sweet story about a little girl, Rosie who wants to be an engineer, she creates all sorts of gizmos and gadgets, but people laugh at her inventions. Rosie is discouraged and decides she will no longer make things. That is until her great aunt explains the benefits of failed tries. “Life might have its failures, but this was not it. The only true failure can come if you quit.” I think so often we are focused on the product at the end that the importance of the journey and process often get lost.
The learning happens on the journey, through the process not from the actual product. When children learn what didn’t work and why it didn’t work, they are learning more than it working the first time. They are learning different strategies for overcoming obstacles, building resilience and problem solving.
Building resilience helps children learn to take healthy risks, reduces the chances of them suffering from a stress related disorder and helps them easily navigate daily challenges.
Here are some tips to help your child build resilience:
Focus on the process and journey not the destination. Acknowledge the learning that occurs along the way. If your child is learning to ride a bike and is continuing to tumble, point out the progress they are making. “Wow, I can tell you are trying hard!” “This time I noticed you were able to balance longer.”
Use failure as an opportunity to teach. Change negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
Help your child develop a growth-mind set. Having a growth-mind set means that you believe talents and skills can be developed through hard work. For example if your child says “I can’t draw a house” you might respond by saying “You don’t feel like you can draw a house yet, but if you keep practicing soon you will be able to.” Teach your children to reframe their thoughts ultimately turning negative ones into positive ones.
Focus on positive things in life. Point out kindness, gratefulness, and thoughtfulness. Encourage your children to talk about things that made them feel happy and special. This reduces negativity and encourages them to view things in a more positive manner.
Model resilience. Incorporate these tips into your own life. Talk through your ideas out loud so your child has the opportunity to see you struggle and work through your process.
As you can see, positivity is key in building resilience!
Big Life Journal has some great resources on growth mind set and building resilience in children!