Creating a Strong and Lasting Sibling Relationship

I remember being pregnant with our second child, and worrying endlessly that my daughter’s life was about to change dramatically. That I was ruining her special world we created. Well change dramatically my daughter’s world did, however, it changed for the better. Sure, there have been ups and downs. But from the moment she found out he was born she was a loving and devoted big sister. Now, over two years later, they are best friends and love each other immensely. I love watching their relationship grow and change as they grow and change.

How do we create sibling relationships that last? Where they support each other, care for each other, and love each other unconditionally? While I think this is everyone’s goal, how do we make it a reality?

Here is my advice:

Teach them to celebrate each other strengths. Each of your children are unique, they have many wonderful gifts and talents. Talk to your children not only about their own gifts and talents but their siblings as well. When they need help, encourage them to ask their sibling for help.

Support each other’s weaknesses. We all have areas in our lives we struggle in, areas we need support. Show your children how to support each other.

Model caring relationships with your siblings. If you have siblings of your own, use your own relationship with your sibling as a model. Show them how to treat each other. If you don’t currently have a relationship with your sibling that you are willing to use as a model, your children are a great motivation to improve your relationship.

Maintain neutral. Don’t pick sides or play favorites. Talk about what you are noticing in a calm and matter of fact way.

Checking in and making it right. When the inevitable disagreement occurs have your children check in with each other. Ask them to see what each one needs to make it right.